We’re down to the Top Five and this week, they tackled the greatest hits of Usher. How did they perform? Read on to find out…
Howard: Ur-shur Night!
LeKeith: He make the booty go clap!
Howard: Sadly, there was not that much clapping booty last night. Mostly because there are few females left on the show.
LeKeith: That didn’t stop one crew.
Howard: Indeed. But let’s start from the top.
Howard: Double Double Animal Style!
LeKeith: I liked elements of their routine this week. I liked the visuals a lot
Howard: Yeah. This was probably their tightest routine. The sloppiness was kept to a minimum.
LeKeith: It was! They were very tight. And not to get all Lil’ Mama but the Orange was poppin’. So when they were doing the waterfall pieces, it looked really nice
Howard: Yeah. That one slow peel-off was also sick.
LeKeith: The one all the way across the stage?
Howard: Yup. Great use of the stage and a fantastic visual.
LeKeith: Exactly. But I still thought it was missing something.
Howard: There was a certain cohesiveness to the routine that was lacking. As much as I hate to drink from JC’s cup of Haterade, it was a series of moments without any connective tissue. There wasn’t a real overarching narrative driving the piece.
LeKeith: Yes, I agree and also took a sip from the Haterade. It was a series of visuals. The ending story felt tacked on. Slightly. But that being said, I thought they kept it Animal Style.
Howard: They did. It had a great energy to it.
LeKeith: I’m glad they weren’t in the bottom 2.
Howard: Agreed. I feel like Omarion and Lil’ Mama are battling to see who can say the most inane commentary.
LeKeith: I mean, I guess. I think we both know who’ll win though. It’s like Tyson v. Neidermeyer.
LeKeith: Who’s Neidermeyer? Doesn’t matter. Tyson’s winning.
Howard: Yes. As Eric might say, Lil’ Mama’s style is impetuous and her defense is impregnable.
Howard: JC Chasez, she wants to eat your children.
LeKeith: I did like that Omarion’s comment boiled down to the Atlanta hand sign and a grunt. He got in a good left hook.
Howard: One final note on DDAS, I do have to dock them points for their slides. The knee slide was great. But the foot slide? Not so much.
LeKeith: You’re absolutely right. You could see his foot was too high off the ground in the slo-mo
Howard: I mean, it’s a hard ass move to learn. So they did the right thing by assigning it to the one dude who could do it.
LeKeith: Right. But he needed to be perfect with it and it was off.
Howard: Yup. That was his 1995 Patrick Ewing lay-up.
LeKeith: Really? You want to bring that up?
LeKeith: I don’t feel like crying today.
Howard: I’m sorry, buddy. Let’s cheer you up by talking about the awesomeness of Poreotix.
LeKeith: Yay! Poreotix!
Howard: I loved their execution of the challenge.
LeKeith: I did too. I think they’ve figured out that the judges value the use of the stage, perhaps slightly more than they should.
Howard: Here’s what was brilliant about that reversal section: each person did a unique type of movement that moved in a separate direction from the movement before (horizontal leading into vertical, etc.). This made the chain memorable in going forwards and when they reversed it, you still had those motions stuck in your head.
LeKeith: You’re absolutely right.
Howard: And you can see that they were figuring it out during the practice. You have to make the motions pop so that people really pick up on the reversal.
LeKeith: They also kept the moves very short and simple so it was easier to follow. Almost like a Rube Goldberg machine.
LeKeith: But they were excellent again.
Howard: Yup. Great performance from top to bottom.
LeKeith: I liked the dueling B-Boys or DJs or whatever that was.
Howard: Yes. A smart move that gets the judges off their backs and plays to the audience a bit.
LeKeith: Absolutely. I think they’ve put the pieces together to figure out how to win the competition. Before Lil Mama had to remind them.
Howard: Yeah, it’s not their pure style, but it’s a smart evolution of it. But speaking of the judges. Can we please discuss the greatest ABDC heckler of ALL TIME?
LeKeith: What WAS That? Was it Precious? Barry Bonds?
Howard: That was so amazing.
LeKeith: Manny Paq?
Howard: I want to believe that it was actually Lil’ Jon.
LeKeith: That would have been Awesome!
Howard: I had to watch that like three times, it cracked me up so bad. I want that person to just constantly WHAT?! Omarion for the rest of the season.
LeKeith: HA! Was he yelling WHAT?! to anything in particular that Omarion said?
Howard: Yeah, it was when he told Poreotix that they needed to step up their choreography and take it to the next level.
LeKeith: Oh yeah! I just dismissed him. That did deserve a WHAT?!
Howard: ABDC Heckler, if you’re out there – you are our Hero of the Week.
LeKeith: Yes, You are Having the Best ABDC Related Week Ever!
Howard: Alright, let’s move onto the Kona Krushers. And their Wheelie Shoes.
LeKeith: I thought they were really tight this week too.
Howard: It was definitely one of their better performances.
LeKeith: Even on the wheelies. Is that still a fad?
Howard: Maybe? Let’s say yes. I don’t really know because I’m not eight.
LeKeith: True. But neither was Ursher when he broke those out in the video.
Howard: That’s true. But when you’ve got that level of swaggerosity, as Lil’ Mama might say, you can do whatever you want.
LeKeith: And this is Where Lil Mama delivered the Knockout Punch.
Howard: HA! I loved the fact that JC just called her crazy. It wasn’t a loving, “Oh, you so crazy!”
LeKeith: It wasn’t!
Howard: It was a, “You are a crazy person. Here is some change, please stay away from me.”
LeKeith: It truly was. but there was a side of “don’t ever change” to go with it. Although, I half expected her to break out the multiple conjugations of swagger. I thought she was going to say Swagnificance or Swaggerosity.
Howard: Swagcenity. I can’t define it, but I know it when I see it.
LeKeith: HAHA! That’s how I feel about all these words. But back to the Kona Krushers – I thought they put together a really smart routine. And I also like how so many of the crews picked up on elements of Usher that weren’t specific to the video.
Howard: They did a great job of minimizing the amount of time that one girl would have to skate.
LeKeith: They did. They also hid her in the back for the roll-off at the end
Howard: Is that the same girl who didn’t go to college? Or is that the other girl?
LeKeith: Maybe Either way, they don’t have classes in wheelies at college, I hope.
Howard: Well, I did get credit for taking “Science Fiction, Science Fact”.
LeKeith: That’s true.
Howard: So “The Physics of Wheelie Shoes” is not unbelievable.
LeKeith: I’d like to not believe it. I also kinda wanted to see a remake of Roll Bounce but with Wheelies after their routine though. Starring the Kona Krushers.
Howard: HA! I think a lot of credit for the success of that routine goes to Joshua.
LeKeith: Yeah, he killed it.
Howard: That little chain move was a bit of brilliance.
LeKeith: I get what JC was getting at with his Br8kSk8 comment but he was off. Br8kSk8 habitually danced in skates so they were at an entirely different comfort level in them. It’s not that the Kona Krushers aren’t capable of dancing in skates or wheelies; it’s just that it’s hard to perfect in 6 days.
Howard: Exactly. Though the skates were a perfect compliment to their smooth style.
LeKeith: They were, which is why I think I liked their routine so much this week.
Howard: So this takes us to the elimination round. Team Canada versus the Hotsteppers.
LeKeith: The return of the Hotsteppers at that!
LeKeith: Team Canada went up first.
Howard: I think they kind of failed at their attempt to make it less hard hitting, to be honest. But I thought it was a solid routine nevertheless.
LeKeith: It wasn’t supposed to be hard hitting?
Howard: Well, they made a point during their practice to note that Urshur is usually really smooth. And that they were concerned about how to work that into their usual hard hitting style.
LeKeith: Fair enough.
Howard: And I think their solution was to just not do it. But I still liked it.
LeKeith: Me too. .
Howard: The fact that B-Boy Hero is French Canadian gives me pause. I tend to associate that accent with evil. Thanks to years of television and movies.
LeKeith: I’ve been working really hard to overlook my bias towards French Canadians because I like this crew so much. But I did notice what is keeping them near the bottom though – their routines don’t have the same lasting visuals that the other crews leave you with. Like the B-Boy Hero Body Lean was off the side almost.
Howard: Yeah, it’s true. And we forgot to mention his insane one-handed hops last week.
LeKeith: I know. I’m sorry B-Boy Hero, of possible evil origins.
Howard: I think they’re good at keeping everyone constantly in motion.
LeKeith: Well, that’s what they do. They hide the setup and then show the reveal.
Howard: But it needs to be placed in the right part of the stage. I think they did that best during the Lady Gaga challenge.
LeKeith: I think so too. Their key to victory would be to slow down their movements a little to savor their visuals a bit more.
Howard: I agree. Overall, a solid performance, but I don’t think it’ll keep them out of the bottom two next week.
LeKeith: I agree with you.
Howard: Oh! How did we not discuss the fact that JC evidently caught the Perv-o-Tron 5000 disease.
LeKeith: Oh, I dunno.
Howard: I half expected him to throw his hotel key at that girl.
LeKeith: I was actually pretty shocked how little the judges have commented on Team Canada’s potential sexiness quotient. Since they have the most females.
LeKeith: And what they’ve been wearing the past few shows
Howard: Well, JC made up for that, I think.
LeKeith: He did! I think the Shane Sparks entered his head for a second via astral projection.
Howard: HA! So let’s move onto the return of the Hotsteppers.
LeKeith: I thought they had a good routine as well. And I was expecting them to use the ropes as weapons. But I’m kinda glad that was limited to the one exchange.
Howard: Yeah. Their mock fighting was… Yeah.
LeKeith: HA! It was more like mock sparring. On the Wii.
Howard: Had they stayed, I would have advised them to dress Brittney in skimpier outfits. Because they clearly should have been exploiting her sex appeal earlier in the season.
LeKeith: Yeah, they had one last card to pull. But I’m glad I got to see fire-jumping
Howard: Me too. They also smartly put that one girl who made the two mistakes last week in the back corner. “You just sit here and turn the ropes.”
LeKeith: I noticed that too! And when that girl was in the middle, they just spun the rope over their heads a few times.
Howard: Wait. Wait. Wait. Before we go on, we have to address the comments during their practice video. Where Brittney said that they’ve shown people that jump roping exists. How is that possible?!
Howard: Are there people in the United States that are unaware of the existence of jump roping?!
LeKeith: Surely they must be aware of the existence of twine?
Howard: Doesn’t every grade school get some kind of government grant that consists of 1,000 plastic jump ropes for gym class?
LeKeith: That sounds about right
Howard: If not, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation clearly needs to address this issue.
LeKeith: Though we do have a growing childhood obesity problem so they may be using the jump ropes for other things
Howard: As Indiana Jones-style whips to get more food?
LeKeith: Possibly. Kids can be pretty creative.
Howard: Anyway, the Hotstppers were back on point. They had some great tricks this week.
LeKeith: Like the jumping off the backs of his fellow steppers into a jump rope?
Howard: Yes! And I actually liked the opening, as stiff as it was.
LeKeith: No, I liked it too. I think they were slight less stiff than they have been in previous weeks.
Howard: It’s true. And there was some cool floor work right at the beginning.
LeKeith: It just wasn’t enough to save them from Total Elimination.
Howard: Yeah. I think it was the right time for them to go.
LeKeith: Oh definitely. I’m really happy with this Top 4.
Howard: Me too. No obvious duds this season.
Howard: I’m talking about you, Afroborike.
LeKeith: Also, I want to point out: 2 West, 1 East, 1 South.
Howard: Well, technically, it’s 2 West, 1 South, 1 Canada.
LeKeith: Only 1 of the East Crews was actually from the East this time. North Carolina?
LeKeith: East America.
Howard: They get a pass because New York is where jump roping started.
Howard: No. I just made that up. But it sounded good, right?
LeKeith: It did! I just Googled for confirmation.
Howard: You know what doesn’t sound good?
LeKeith: Magic Week!
Howard: MOTHERF’ING MAGIC WEEK. Someone at ABDC clearly hates me.
LeKeith: yeah, I think we pissed off the wrong people. Although, I have 2 ideas for guest judges that would make it better.
Howard: Penn and Teller?
LeKeith: 3 ideas now.
Howard: Shane Sparks via Teleconference?
Howard: Then I give up.
LeKeith: Okay. You just gave me another idea though
LeKeith: (1) Shane Sparks appears from thin air behind Omarion and reclaims his seat.
LeKeith: (2) Penn and Teller (you just said that). (3) Neil Patrick Harris: The man can do everything! (4) Ed Alonzo and a mini Saved by the Bell Reunion.
Howard: Amazing! I would also be happy with a Scooby Doo type reveal where Omarion pulls off a mask to reveal that he was Shane Sparks all along!
Howard: Anyway, next week will be interesting. Because I think I literally threw something across the room when Mario announced Magic Week. Plus, you will actually be in Los Angeles.
LeKeith: I will!
Howard: So you can comfort me during the sadness that is Magic Week.
LeKeith: We’ll Get In-N-Out Burger. I do want to thank Reader Hyoban for tipping me off to the Magic Week announcement. It tempered the blow.
Howard: Sadly, I missed that ProTip.
LeKeith: Oh one last thing. I didn’t realize how many Usher songs I liked or knew. Thanks, ABDC for reminding me.
Howard: He does have a surprisingly deep catalog.
LeKeith: They didn’t have to use U Make Me Wanna. Or any song where he used U instead of You.
Howard: Or his crossover with Diddy.
LeKeith: I forgot about that.
Howard: It even had two parts! That’s how epic it was.