But wait, you say, didn’t America’s Best Dance Crew Season 5 finish last week? It did, but we’re back to cover the Champions for Charity Special featuring the winners of all five seasons. Did it leave our minds blown? Read on to find out…
Howard: ABDC! Doin’ It For the Kids!
LeKeith: And it’s the Champion of Champions!
Howard: Oh charity week, what a great idea.
LeKeith: I know! It was very cool of ABDC to do that.
Howard: Though slightly weird that we couldn’t actually call in and pledge money. But good on them to donate $10,000 to each charity.
LeKeith: Did you see what it said on the check?
Howard: “This is a giant novelty check. Please do not take it to a bank.”?
LeKeith: HA! I kinda wish It said “that’s right, dawg 10G’s!”
Howard: You are lying.
LeKeith: No, I’m not
Howard: Oh Randy Jackson…
LeKeith: But I want to do that now on my Checks!
Howard: That would be amazing. “That’s right, son! It’s the April rent!”
LeKeith: “Yo man, keep them lights on… Electric company!”
Howard: Well, at least the performances were awesome.
LeKeith: They were! And it was kicked of by a coronation ceremony of dancing proportions.
Howard: Right off the bat I knew it was going to be awesome. Do you know why?
LeKeith: No, why?
Howard: Because they had midgets flanking the entrance way! C’mon!
LeKeith: Oh yeah! Oh, you crazy for this one Randy! Although, if they started breaking, I think I would have lost it.
Howard: Alternatively, if they had pulled off their masks to reveal Lil’ Mama, JC and Omarion? MIND BLOWN.
LeKeith: What about the 4th little person: Shane Sparks! C’Mon, America! It’s for charity.
Howard: I agree.
LeKeith: I thought the group number was pretty cool though.
Howard: It was a solid opening number. I enjoyed the crowning of Poreotix because it gave the show a nice legacy feel.
LeKeith: Yes! I think that’s why I liked it. It was a welcome to the family kind of moment.
LeKeith: Although I was wondering why there were only 4 royal chairs on the stage.
Howard: They get a chair next season.
LeKeith: Thrones. They’re called thrones…
LeKeith: But as the last hired, Poreotix got to kick off the show.
Howard: With some Alvin and the Chipmunks shenanigans.
LeKeith: Yes! Which was Crazy!
Howard: I was initially disappointed because I thought they were only going to use the Chipmunks at the very beginning. But then it came back in. And I started giggling like a schoolgirl again.
LeKeith: HAHA! Well, you know my feelings on the Chipmunks I thought Billy Joel ripped them off. Because the first time I heard Uptown Girl or For the Longest Time was on the Alvin and the Chipmunks cartoon. Years later, I was corrected but that was after building some anti-Joel vitriol. So I loved this routine for that fact alone.
LeKeith: Plus, it shows the absolute dancing ability of Poreotix to be able to put together a tight routine to what is essentially a novelty song.
Howard: Yeah, I liked the fact that it allowed them to express their goofy side without breaking with the music too much.
LeKeith: Yes. Dancing to T-Swizzle is one thing, but Alvin and the Chipmunks is a different level. You know what else it did though?
Howard: What’s that?
LeKeith: It allowed JC to make a nuts joke for charity. And that’s the second greatest gift of all.
Howard: I can’t disagree with that. You have to appreciate the fact that their clowning finally broke him down. “Did I just say that on national TV?”
LeKeith: Yup. I mean if there was ever a time to say “Poreotix FTW,” that was it.
Howard: What did you think of We Are Heroes?
LeKeith: I forgot how much I missed them. Also, Wonder Woman.
Howard: HA! I have to say that Catwoman was REALLY into her role.
LeKeith: Yeah, she was!
Howard: After the routine, when they were standing on stage and waiting for their comments, she basically looked like she was in heat. Not that it was a bad thing.
LeKeith: No it wasn’t. Also, I imagine dancing in latex will get you rather hot and possibly bothered. But even the person they were helping out was like, “You should wear that everyday!”
Howard: HA! I liked their set dressing the best of all the groups, I think. But I was not in love with the routine. It was probably my least favorite of the evening.
LeKeith: did you like their set because it appealed to the collector in you or did it give you a glimpse into what Blueprint Cru’s set could have been?
Howard: I think I appreciated the fidelity to the source material for each once. Using the right fonts and colors for the ladies’ names.
LeKeith: I noticed that.
Howard: Good job, Set Designer! Give them a raise, MTV.
LeKeith: Yes, please! I agree though, they may have had the weakest routine. That hair thing was kinda weird.
Howard: Yeah. But I did appreciate the fact that they made that booty clap. On a show of only dudes, that was appreciated.
LeKeith: Always thinking of you, Shane! That may have been the other reason I was happy to see them. I really want to say that there were “too many dongs on the dancefloor” but this is the charity edition.
Howard: You got to keep it clean for charity, dawg!
Howard: Then we saw the return of Quest Crew. I can’t lie to you. I have a mancrush on those dudes.
LeKeith: HAHA! You are not alone! They are awesome. With outta control hair styles.
Howard: OK, let’s start with that beginning. How is Ryan still alive?!
LeKeith: I DON’T KNOW!!! That was insane!
Howard: Simply ridiculous. And then he comes out of that entire section with a hands-free headstand!
LeKeith: It was simply crazy. Part of me was concerned, but then he popped up like Wile E Coyote.
Howard: HA! I loved everything about this routine. And it was a brilliant decision to have them dance to something that wasn’t hip hop.
LeKeith: Yes. I love it when they can show their versatility, not just through dance but also through the music they dance to.
Howard: So many insane formations, and everything just linked together so fluidly. I had to watch it twice, I was so impressed. And the second time around, I started catching things that I missed the first time. Just little subtle movements by everyone in the crew to stay on similar levels.
LeKeith: For their season, that’s when the were at their best. When watching it the second time felt as new as watching it the first time. Also, all the combo work was so well done. Diving through legs and whatnot.
Howard: Yeah. And the ending to that bit. Where Hok belly flops onto D-Trix’s legs and then ends up between them?
Howard: Just great physical comedy.
LeKeith: You know what made me really happy?
LeKeith: Omarion. Speechless.
LeKeith: His facial expression said it all. But then Lil Mama splashed water on him so he could say “Aaaaaaay” a couple of times. And rightfully so.
Howard: Much like Lil’ Mama’s signature move is crazy talk, Omarion’s signature move is nonsensical and extended vowels. “Aaaaaaaaay.” “Woooooooooow.”
Howard: So then we got our Season 2 Champs. SuperCr3w! Did they make you put a S to your Chest?
LeKeith: Man, I could never do that correctly. It always looked like a crooked 5. But I noticed that of all the crews, Supercr3w is stylistically the odd crew out. Because the abilities of the other crews to tut or thread or something like that seems very natural.
Howard: Yeah, they’re the only pure b-boys on the show. Or rather, only crew of only b-boys.
LeKeith: Right. Supercr3w can do those other things but it’s not in their wheelhouse naturally.
Howard: Yup. Also, apparently Rey Mysterio also joined SuperCr3w when I wasn’t looking.
LeKeith: I thought it was Rey Rey too! Which, by the way, would be awesome. WWE, get on it! Rock and Wrestling 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Howard: This did make me think of what I want for Season 6. Baby Challenge Week!
Howard: Can our crews dance with a child?! And will they learn what it means to be responsible parents?!
LeKeith: Oh man, please don’t do that. I just thought of that video where the guy is break dancing and accidentally kicks that little girl in the head.
Howard: That would be the best Theme Week Ever. Suck on that, Magic Week!
LeKeith: Let’s put it in the “Maybe” pile. But that kid was Awesome!
Howard: He was awesome. But he was also their equivalent of the flying sphere.
Howard: SuperCr3w did a couple of dope tricks. And then said, “Hey, look at that shiny thing over there!” Fireworks! Booyaka booyaka!
LeKeith: I mean, they were going after Quest. You know they saw a rehearsal and said, “We need to do something more… Can we teach a dog to breakdance? No? Okay, then what about a little kid?” They were just following sitcom logic.
LeKeith: It goes dog, kid, abandoned teen. That being said, the fact that they improved the human wall kick flip to include a full body twist was crazy.
Howard: Agreed! Also, If I were working as their technical adviser, I would have suggested using a reggaeton horn. People love that horn.
LeKeith: No, you love that horn.
Howard: It’s true! I want Reggaeton Horn Week!
LeKeith: Oh god.
Howard: Where every song has to feature copious use of the Reggaeton Horn.
LeKeith: You know that’d be like the mating call for Afroborike And not the ladies. The dudes.
Howard: I’d like to imagine them sitting at home, weeping at the injustice of it all.
LeKeith: Well, I’m sure Pitbull has at least six singles, right? That’s enough for a show.
Howard: HA! I feel like Lil’ Mama said some crazy shit to them. But I can’t recall what it is right now.
LeKeith: I think she tried to take the little one home.
Howard: “They call me Lil’ Mama for a reason! Moo hoo ha ha!”
LeKeith: And Mario was like, “No!” because he’s growing into his parenting skills.
Howard: Or is he? Did you know he’s been getting mad at his pregnant girlfriend for getting fat? “Work out more! Stop getting such a big tummy!” Allegedly.
Howard: This moment has been brought to you by the letters T, M and Z.
LeKeith: I thought you were confusing ABDC with Glee.
Howard: HA! Anyway, that brings us to the big finish. JabbaWockeez!
LeKeith: I gotta say, that mask was a little scary when it was just sitting there behind Mario. It looked like a stage production of Eyes Wide Shut for a second.
Howard: I got so hype when their routine started. FINAL COUNTDOWN, SON!
LeKeith: I know! I started clapping at home!
Howard: But then that song basically stopped as soon as they stepped out of the JabbaShip. Oh JabbaWockeez. I am disappoint.
LeKeith: Now you know what it’s like to associate the Final Countdown with Disappointment. Doesn’t feel good, does it?
Howard: No. Why is this medicine so bitter?
LeKeith: because that’s how you grow. That’s what my Mom used to tell me.
Howard: I was incredibly pleased by their routine though.
LeKeith: As was I. They made up for it.
Howard: You remember that they’re great, but you forget just how clean and precise they are.
LeKeith: Exactly. Their whole robotic sequence was nuts.
Howard: Oh yeah.
LeKeith: I like how each level of robot kept moving while a new layer “awoke”.
Howard: Somewhere, the Boogie Bots were throwing a chair at the TV.
LeKeith: Oh, Boogie Bots. Lil Mama did not like you. But you formed Voltron and that was cool in my book.
Howard: Jabba did a lot of great things to make the robot feel real. Like the rumbling of the “feet” as it took each step. Just really smart performance choices. And for guys without faces, they are remarkably expressive.
LeKeith: Yes. Quick question though: Did you get the sense that the whole show was like an opening band for Jabba though?
Howard: think it might have been intended to be that way. But while I appreciated their routine from a technical standpoint, I have to admit that I was more entertained by the Quest routine at the end of the day.
LeKeith: As was I. I mean, it didn’t bother me too much but I noticed it. Mario kept saying JabbaWockeez a lot. But they were well deserved to be in the final spot of the night. Even they way they transitioned into their robot piece was fantastic.
Howard: Yup. Also, JabbaWockeez have their own show in Vegas. All the other crews do not. Advantage: JabbaWockeez.
LeKeith: True. Which is an impressive feat not only for them but for ABDC. So they would want to heavily promote that.
Howard: Yeah. I wonder if Randy Jackson gets a cut from their show.
Howard: Does the check say, “Here’s your 10%, dawg”?
LeKeith: HA! that’s on the little check. The one you can take to the bank.
Howard: And now we’ve come full circle!
LeKeith: Literally! The show ended with a Sypher!
Howard: Sadly, Mr. Tivo neglected to show that to Howard Han. So I will just have to imagine how awesome that was. Or watch it on MTV.com later.
LeKeith: Sorry buddy. I set a 5 minute overrun on my recording.
Howard: I just assumed it ended with Mario Lopez making more puns.
LeKeith: For you, Mario said, “Who will be the next crew to receive Charity from America’s voters and be crowned the next America’s Best Dance Crew”
Howard: Oh Mario, you rapscallion. Well, I think that’s it for this season, my friend.
LeKeith: Yes, I think so. Are there more crews on the horizon?
Howard: Who knows what kind of magic awaits us in the future.
LeKeith: Not Magic Week! Deal, MTV? You Stop Magic Week and I won’t make fun of JC by mentioning his single, “Some Girls Dance with Women.” Trust me, that’s big sacrifice.