After almost a year, ABDC is back! Which means that it’s time for me and LeKeith to turn on the
Wayback Commentary Machine. Let’s see if the Season of the Superstars lives up to its name…
Howard: ABDC! Back for a Season of Superstars!
LeKeith: Yeah, I still don’t know what that means.
Howard: Neither do I. But it’s good that MTV isn’t preemptively inflating our expectations.
LeKeith: You mean by using the Wrestlemania 27 Theme Song as the Anthem for their Season?
Howard: Yeah, I popped for that when I heard it.
LeKeith: That song has been burned into my head since the Rumble.
Howard: It is rather catchy.
LeKeith: I still think he’s saying “Look Into The Stars, The Milky Galaxy, I’m on My Way!
Howard: HA! Speaking of music, what do you think about the theme week format?
LeKeith: To be Honest, I’m not a fan
Howard: How come?
LeKeith: I liked it when there was one week where it was a single artist because the crew would have to try to capture that artist’s spirit or character or at least that of the video. I didn’t really get than from this week’s episode.
Howard: That’s fair.
LeKeith: Maybe I’m stepping all over the Jump to Conclusions Board but I kinda liked the other theme weeks because it also allowed the crews to build their own identity and character as they faced each challenge. And now I miss the Magic Challenge
Howard: No, you don’t.
LeKeith: No, I don’t. I just wanted to get a Rize out of you
Howard: The potential lack of a Magic Challenge is the only upside to this new format.
LeKeith: Very True. But that means we’ll also never see the Beach Blanket Bingo Challenge
Howard: But I agree with you that it seemed less focused on the theme than Artist Weeks have been in the past. But I’m going to chalk that up to the fact that it’s the first week. So the priority is just presenting the crews.
LeKeith: And their new Stage! And their NEW Judge!
Howard: I’m thinking that may be why Lil’ Wayne and Ke$ha are the first two up. Since their videos aren’t particularly distinctive.
LeKeith: True. I think it’s more that these are songs that people Dance to as opposed to artists who Dance.
Howard: But yes, the new judge. I love me some D-Trix, but I’ll be honest – he’s no Shane.
Howard: I understand why they can’t have an (alleged) statutory rapist on their show. But D-Trix needs to pick up that Perv Flag and run with it.
LeKeith: HA! Fly to New Zealand, indeed. We all knew what you meant.
Howard: WHERE IS THE BOOTY CAM, ABDC?!
LeKeith: I think the Booty Cam went away with the old set. Along with the lighting.
Howard: You know that it’s still in storage somewhere.
LeKeith: It’s in JC’s House.
Howard: And they get a midget to operate it so that it’s always at waist level.
LeKeith: JC can afford a little person. “Bye Bye Bye” still banks.
Howard: Alright, so let’s get to the crews. First up was IaMmE. I’m never typing that again.
LeKeith: Agreed. I’m not a fan of the name.
Howard: I want to punch people when they type like that on Facebook. So I’ll be damned if I do that now.
LeKeith: I kinda want to call them Team Overthink.
Howard: I want to call them Team Mail Order Bride.
LeKeith: HA! Well, that’s a winner.
Howard: I’m just sayin’. JaJa seems to be a talented dancer, but if she was the missing piece of their puzzle, that shit wasn’t very complicated.
LeKeith: But Phillip Cheeb is on the Team. You may remember him from such dance shows as So You Think You Can Dance and Youtube.
Howard: Yeah, I’m pretty sure insane/freakish pop and locker Phillip Cheeb was the missing piece of their puzzle.
LeKeith: I’m pretty sure he was the whole team. No offense to the other guys but this was a Dirty Mike and the Boys situation
LeKeith: Only one of you have a name.
Howard: They have some sick tutting, there’s no doubt.
LeKeith: No, absolutely.
Howard: But I’ll be curious to see if they can do more. I’d like them to take a lesson from Poreotix. Bring out the Disco Week performances starting in week 2. Don’t wait until the show’s almost over to show us the other shit.
LeKeith: True. And I guess their brain blasting is effective, even if the name is taken from Jimmy Neutron. They had some nice non-tutting moves in there and I liked the weapons of dance destruction at the end.
Howard: Yeah, the finish was strong.
LeKeith: Blondes, Not Bombs. Brunettes, Not Fighter Jets.
Howard: I will say, there was no group that was overtly terrible this week.
LeKeith: No, there wasn’t!
Howard: I guess that’s what they mean by Superstar Season. “Hey, we made sure that no one was terrible!”
LeKeith: I was kinda bummed that there was an elimination when it was all said and done.
Howard: Yeah. But let’s move onto the next group. Beantown Boogie. Or whatever they were called.
LeKeith: Phunk Phenomenon?
LeKeith: I’m just going to turn off spell-check right now …
Howard: Important fact, did you notice that they also had a member named Ja Ja?
LeKeith: No, I did not. Wonderful Observation
Howard: I kept hoping that they’d tell us that they also found Ja Ja in the Ukraine.
LeKeith: I demand a Ja Ja Battle!
LeKeith: Foreign v. Domestic. Oh, Ja Ja is also X-clusive, which is a little ironic.
Howard: They got the obligatory tearjerker story, of course.
LeKeith: Oh, that reminds me. Lil Mama became our Lady of Positive Affirmation Tonight. With 80′s shoulders and sparklies.
Howard: I was a little sad when I saw her, because I knew we were in for minimal crazy without her wacky headgear. BUT! Lil’ Mama had the greatest line of the night. Which we will get to later!
LeKeith: Agreed. Back to the dance. I’m not gonna lie. I loved the facial expression change when Ja-clusive LeBron’d over his boy. Because YOU KNOW that landing hurt! But he Manned up.
Howard: Yeah, he hit that hard with his knees.
LeKeith: The Slow-Mo really caught the change.
Howard: I’ve done that exact same stupid shit while play dodgeball, so respect to him for getting up without any discernible discomfort. Their ending was also really strong. I wish they had shown that same level of intensity throughout the performance.
LeKeith: It’s been kinda done on the ABDC Stage one time too many at this point.
Howard: It was the first time that I felt like they weren’t just another random hip hop crew.
LeKeith: No, agreed.
Howard: “OK, let’s circle around the one dude that can breakdance!” “New formation! And now windmills!”
Howard: To be honest, they were the group that I was hoping would get cut.
LeKeith: I thought they were going to get cut as well.
Howard: Only because I felt like the odds of finding another group exactly like them in the next group of five was relatively high. Whereas every other group has a fairly unique hook.
LeKeith: Like the Kiwi Sisters?
Howard: Exactly. Let’s get to them.
LeKeith: My brother pointed out that their Leader, Parris, looked like Max from Batman Beyond.
Howard: Also, ABDC, we addressed this last year, but it’s America’s Best Dance Crew!
LeKeith: You know, I agree with you but at the same time, America needs a wake up call.
Howard: That’s fair.
LeKeith: And if it takes a thrashing from the Red Kiwi Klub to make our dancers better, so be it.
Howard: The sadistic part of me was thinking that they were going to boot them in the elimination ceremony though. “Thanks for coming, but we just realized what the show’s title is.”
LeKeith: HA! “Come back when we have the World’s Best Dance Crew.”
Howard: Anyway, I LOVED LOVED LOVED them in the opening routine.
LeKeith: As did I.
Howard: They were so stanky and grimey with it.
LeKeith: I think it was Lil Mama who called back to their opening routine, even.
Howard: But then I didn’t see any of that in their performance. Which was disappointing.
LeKeith: I thought their performance was a little Cheerleader-y, which kinda bummed me out
Howard: Definitely. When they were done, I felt like I just saw a really awesome group of back-up dancers.
LeKeith: Yes! That’s what the feeling I got too.
Howard: It was disappointing only because the opening showed so much promise. Here’s hoping they bring the heat next time.
LeKeith: Assuming they get the chance. Can New Zealand Vote?
Howard: Maybe via internet? Who knows.
LeKeith: Canada couldn’t.
Howard: Also, I understand that one chick has the birthmark on her face.
LeKeith: You do?
Howard: And respect to her for growing past it and having a supportive group of friends. But seriously, MTV, it’s kind of fucked up to place her in the foreground of every shot.
LeKeith: It’s true.
Howard: Until her little interview came up, I hadn’t even noticed it.
LeKeith: Neither did I, to be honest.
Howard: But after that, they made sure she was right in front of the camera in every shot.
LeKeith: When she mentioned it, I went, “Oh yeah, I guess.” Honestly, with her hair, it looks like a throwback look and she is pulling it off. I would like to have one thing from their routine to point to but I don’t.
LeKeith: Also, they were given the least Lil Wayne-esque song on the show
Howard: Yeah, even their shadowboxing bit didn’t grab me.
LeKeith: Oh! That’s what bugged me. MTV had some background lighting behind the dancers, like graphics and such. That’s not necessary when we’re supposed to be looking at the Dancers!
Howard: Yeah, I agree that the graphics are a little distracting, but hopefully they’ll tone it down as the season progresses.
LeKeith: I hope so. That’s usually the case with the production decisions they make on the show. Camera angles, lighting and such.
Howard: Yeah, they’ve managed to get the ADD Cam under control over time. That or I’ve just become completely numb to it now.
LeKeith: It’s a little of both.
Howard: So let’s move on to the fourth group. The Bowtie Brigade.
LeKeith: Oooh, I like that one. I kept calling them Cater Waiter Dance Crew because their bowties made them look like the cast of Party Down. I actually liked this crew though
Howard: I did too! They were probably my favorite of the night.
LeKeith: Me too!
Howard: Which, of course, meant that they went home first. I thought their performance was pretty creative. And contrary to what D-Trix said, I’m pretty sure everyone figured out that they were a fire truck.
LeKeith: Yeah, I figured it out but I did think it was a little weird looking. I wasn’t sure if it was the angle or the miming though.
Howard: I know a lot of it is editing, but it was kind of fucked up that the only negative comment D-Trix had all night was about their friggin’ firetruck.
LeKeith: True. True. I’m giving D-Trix a pass this week though.
Howard: Speaking of fucked up comments!
LeKeith: What did she say now?
Howard: Lil’ Mama’s comment to this crew was AMAZING. She basically said something along the lines of “You can do anything that you put your mind to!” As soon as she said that, I thought that it’d be incredibly fucked up if they were then kicked off the show. Which they were. “You can do anything! Except be on ABDC. Now GTFO.”
LeKeith: Oh, I thought she was just reading from old “The More You Know” Transcripts. Every comment she had was a generic positive boost. Except for her LeBron comment.
Howard: She needed a different Successories poster for these guys then. DETERMINATION or BELIEVE or something.
Howard: Basically, any message except “You can do anything.”
LeKeith: Not “Tough Break”?
Howard: Since she proved that they obviously cannot.
LeKeith: Oh well. Sorry, Bowtie Brigade.
Howard: Maybe next time. So that brings us to Rize Against.
LeKeith: Oh man. Can I say how proud I was that they referenced RIZE? because We Saw It! In Theaters!
Howard: And by “We Saw It”, I’m pretty sure you mean “LeKeith watched it and Howard intermittently saw scenes as he came in and out of a drunken stupor.”
LeKeith: Still Counts!
LeKeith: You had a stub in your front pocket
Howard: It’s true. I also wish Tommy the Clown was on their crew.
LeKeith: Tommy the Clown NEEDS to be in that Crew.
Howard: How’d you like the performance?
LeKeith: I gotta say I wasn’t the biggest fan of it. Wait, this is the performance that did the Mighty Duck V formation, right? Because I like that. I will always like that formation. But a lot of Krump is very grouped which is always a pet peeve of JC’s and mine to an extent.
Howard: I thought the performance had a very raw energy to it, which is what you want from krumping.
Howard: But visually, it was just a jumble of people.
Howard: My biggest complaint is that the dude that created the dance style is in the crew. So it’s basically impossible to critique the technique.
Howard: “Well, that looked messy, but you did it so I guess that’s right?” They need a week where Lil’ C is a guest judge.
LeKeith: You have to critique everything else then. Performance, Translation to the Audience, Accessibility
Howard: I think that’ll be their big handicap. Because it’s style that’s just grossly inaccessible to a lot of people.
Howard: I mean, I dig it, but I understand why some people just see wild gesticulation.
LeKeith: A little like the Vogue Style from a few seasons ago
LeKeith: It isn’t as accessible.
Howard: I’m also curious to see how much they can vary it up during the coming weeks.
LeKeith: Well, that depends on how the show itself works. Since right now the idea seems to be that each week, the soundtrack will be provided by a single artist. Rize Against dancing to Justin Beiber? That Ain’t Gonna Work
Howard: I’d actually like to see some kumpin’ to the Beeb. Let’s hope they make it that long.
LeKeith: True. Also, because I’d like to see the Bowtie Brigade keep going, I kinda hope this season sets up some kind of Consolation Dance off, assuming that there will be at least one other cast off next week.
Howard: Yeah, I’ve always wanted a season of the castoffs. Ideally, all the #3 teams. The ones that never made it into the finals.
LeKeith: The Kaba Modern finish.
Howard: Exactly. Kaba, Fanny Pak, the Kona Krushers. Just with those three, you’d have a crazy talent pool.
LeKeith: Those are 3 good crews right there.
Howard: Are you ready for Ke$ha week?
LeKeith: I only know like 2 songs. The one the little Chunky Monkey Sings in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid Commercial. And We R Who We R, because I petitioned Toys R Us to adopt it as their new theme song, based on the title and liberal use of R’s.
Howard: Does this mean that Geoffrey would have to brush his teeth with Jack?
LeKeith: Doesn’t he already?
Howard: Very true. Did you play “spot the future crews” during the preview? There appeared to be one crew of strippers.
LeKeith: Team Stripperella!
Howard: Which has amazing trainwreck potential!
Howard: Also, ABDC did not let me down and gave me a glimpse of an all Asian crew!
LeKeith: Yes! The team of Nerdy Asian Urkels. I am excited
Howard: Thursday cannot come fast enough.