It’s the second week of Season Six and five new crews bring their talents to the ABDC stage! How did they measure up? Read on to find out…
Howard: Second Week of the Season of the Superstars!
LeKeith: I like how they removed Season 6 but kept Alliteration. Thumbs Up, MTV!
Howard: Yes. Though I don’t know if I can give a thumbs up to the talent on display this week…
LeKeith: We shall save one Thumb for the conclusion. Although I guess we have 4 Thumbs between us …
Howard: I felt like the flow of this week’s show was the exact opposite of last week’s.
LeKeith: You know, I’m inclined to agree.
Howard: I thought it started off strong this week and then slowly died out. Whereas last week’s show built up the talent level as the night went on.
LeKeith: I see. I see. I thought there was just something missing from the show overall this week. And I don’t mean Layla Kayleigh. Who you can watch in exclusive videos at mtv.com. I love you, Layla!
Howard: I know you do, buddy. But yeah, I didn’t feel like any of the performances really popped.
LeKeith: Well, let’s run then down. Actually, I thought the group dance popped.
Howard: It was pretty good, though I preferred the other group performance.
LeKeith: Fair enough. I was just happy I knew the song. And I thought that the way the presented then integrated the groups was better this week.
Howard: Did you feel like your Ke$ha knowledge expanded over the course of the evening?
LeKeith: Nope! Although when I started making up lyrics to one of her songs, it turns out I was right. That one about sexting.
Howard: HA! What did you think of FootworKINGz? aka Second City Shufflers.
LeKeith: aka Beat Ya Feet Kings 2: The Return of the King. I spent a good deal of time figuring out how to pronounce their name, because I wasn’t sure if it was a play off footworking or footwork kings, until I realized it was both. They even pronounce it differently depending on the person.
Howard: HA! I have to say that I wasn’t very impressed by them during my first viewing.
LeKeith: They reminded me of the Beat Ya Feet Kings, almost to a T.
Howard: But when I went back and rewatched it, their ability to stay in sync while moving at such high speeds was pretty impressive.
LeKeith: No, I certainly agree. Their stamina and speed are impressive, there’s no doubt.
Howard: They also felt more organized than BYFK.
LeKeith: There was one time when they switched formations while in formation that was kinda bonkers.
Howard: Exactly. I think it’s that level of polish that we never really saw from BYFK. That being said, my lowered expectations from rewatching the episode may have contributed to my enhanced enjoyment of the Second City Shufflers.
LeKeith: Although, when the BYFK were describing their dance move names, it didn’t sound like a bunch a candies – the Mike N Ike, the Now N Later, the Abba Zabba …
Howard: That was kind of awesome.
LeKeith: I forget which one it was where they were like “It’s the Zoozaphone meets Michael Jackson” and I was like “How does that mean anything to anyone?” Ah, just kidding, Second City Shufflers. You guys are awesome!
Howard: Oh, I also have no idea what they shouted at the screen right before we jumped to their performance.
Howard: I literally rewound that bit a dozen times.
LeKeith: And I watched that with Captioning!
Howard: Did the captions read: “We’re FootworKINGZ and [UNINTELLIGIBLE]!!!”?
LeKeith: I think it just didn’t try and pretended like it didn’t happen. It also does that during Jersey Shore.
Howard: Amazing. Well, I feel safe is saying that Second City Shufflers were the best of the night.
LeKeith: Yeah. which kinda disappointed me. Like you said, I was hoping for the build up in talent.
Howard: Agreed. But let’s move on to the Puerto Rican crew.
Howard: Or as I’ve dubbed them Status Que.
LeKeith: I like it!
Howard: Let’s be fair – they’re Status Quo all over again. One dude busts his leg doing a stunt. Their whole routine consists entirely of stunts. With minimal choreo in between.
LeKeith: Yeah, they’re Spot Monkeys.
Howard: I swear to God, America… If this group makes it into the final two…
LeKeith: That’s the thing though, I wasn’t impressed. At least with Status Quo, I was impressed. Also, their routine ended like 3 times and they just kept throwing more spots in there. That’s probably what bothered me the most. They had no narrative or direction. It was just trick after trick.
Howard: Yeah, it’s like they realized the music wasn’t done yet. “Time for another flip!”
LeKeith: I get that they scrambled to reconfigure choreography, but I feel like that’s something you gotta pay attention to.
Howard: Agreed. And I feel like it probably wasn’t altered that significantly from where they started, you know? There wasn’t some kind of narrative masterpiece that was broken up.
LeKeith: Also, D-Trix, when are you going to see them with 7 people? The Dude has a broken leg! When’s he gonna be on the show?
Howard: Pretty much never. Also, they did a pretty good job of showing that they could do it without their buddy. “We can’t do it without you! Except for all the tricks we did!”
LeKeith: Yeah, that is the one plus to being a stunt group. You plan for a backup.
Howard: I figured they’d be on the chopping block. But little did I know.
LeKeith: I did too. Oh! I can’t forget Lil Mama’s Stereotypical Boriqua accent. She almost had one for every crew
Howard: Last night was Lil’ Mama’s Oscar Reel. Boriqua, Guido…
LeKeith: if she had said Obama during the Second City Shufflers, should would have hit BINGO
Howard: I loved that she still mispronounced Puerto Rico while using the accent.
LeKeith: Eh, whatcha gonna do?
Howard: Also, I’m glad she did not pull out a Ching Chong accent with Instant Noodles. Anyway, let’s move onto the next group.
LeKeith: The Jersey Shore Kidz! Fist Pumping Since Pre-K
Howard: I honestly don’t know how to feel about them. I mean, I remember the amazing train wreck that was American Idol Juniors.
LeKeith: Did you notice there was a Future Pauly D in the group?
Howard: Oh yes.
LeKeith: You heard him say “Yeah, Buddy!” at the end of their video package?
Howard: How could you miss it?
LeKeith: I missed it the first time… But about the kids, they have solid fundamentals, which is why they looked really good.
Howard: Yeah, I was impressed with that choreo, if they came up with it themselves. But at the same time, it’s nothing that I couldn’t do. And I am by no means a professional dancer.
LeKeith: True. True.
Howard: I get that they’re kids and it’s cool/cute that they’re out there dancing with adults. But we shouldn’t be grading them on a scale. They should have to deliver at the same level as everyone else.
LeKeith: I thought they were the opposite of Status Que in that they just put all their choreo together even if it didn’t make sense.
Howard: Yeah, it’s true. But they were def the second best group of the night.
LeKeith: Yes. Well, they danced. Go DeFacto Victory!
Howard: Plus, the Jersey Shore tribute moment gave them +10 in my grading scale. Though I was initially terrified that there was a child with actual abs like that.
LeKeith: I liked their second Jersey shore Tribute when they were being fed a meal of Vinny’s Mom-sized proportions. You don’t get that in LA.
Howard: HA! That one kid was going to town. He’s officially my favorite.
LeKeith: He may be mine too. Also, do you remember Iconic?
Howard: I do.
LeKeith: Well, then you’re better than me.
Howard: Partially because they had to do a routine to some randomly whack song – “Chicken Noodle Soup,” I believe it was. But I have to admit that I didn’t make the connection until they explicitly pointed it out to me.
LeKeith: Fair Enough. I had another name for them but I can’t remember… Oh! The Little Guidos!
LeKeith: Also, my favorite moment though was when they showed the judges after the routine. D-Trix and Lil Mama were giving a standing O and JC was writing down notes.
Howard: Yes! That was amazing.
LeKeith: He had this “You call this dancing?!?” look on his face.
Howard: Though he had very constructive criticism for them.
LeKeith: He did! I was surprised. But I knew he wasn’t going to scold a bunch of kids.
Howard: I think they’ll only stick around for a few weeks, unless there’s a powerful preteen voting block that I hadn’t considered.
LeKeith: We’ll see. I wonder what other things they can come up with.
Howard: Anyway, let’s move on to the Totally Not Strippers Crew.
LeKeith: I did not like this crew. Not just because it was a giant tease. But because it was a principled giant tease.
Howard: HAHA! I love that D-Trix picked up the Perv Flag for a bit. “Y’all are girls on poles. Get over it.”
LeKeith: They were all “Just because we dress this way and dance on stripper poles, that does not make us strippers!” Then don’t wear the uniform! Thank you, Dave Chappelle.
Howard: Also, kudos to JC for pointing out that they busted out the spread eagle maneuver.
LeKeith: Right?!? They did a few maneuvers that you don’t see on ABDC. And MTV did them no favors by giving them the song Sleazy.
Howard: I honestly had no idea it was possible to include less dancing in a routine than the Jump Rope Crew (aka the Hotsteppers). But Totally Not Strippers made it happen.
LeKeith: I kinda understood though. It’s like Cirque Du Solei.
LeKeith: It takes time to set up the balance and weight and whatnot. That’s why they don’t do it to Ke$ha songs.
Howard: All guyishness aside, I get that it’s an artform and not just for strippers.
LeKeith: No, I do too. Completely.
Howard: But this isn’t America’s Best Acrobats.
LeKeith: We chide because we care. And because it’s fun.
Howard: Mostly fun. But it’s not like the pole tricks were incorporated with choreo that complemented the song.
Howard: It was basically just a lot of spinning in place.
LeKeith: Oh, Totally Not Strippers, you were so confusing. Though Hard Nipples Trended on Twitter, so thank you for that.
Howard: That might be the greatest comment of the season. And we’re only two episodes in.
LeKeith: Nothing Wrong with that.
Howard: When they were done, I was so certain that they’d be leaving. But then Instant Noodles had to come and disappoint me. And it honestly became a toss up.
LeKeith: I started calling them Cup O Noodles.
Howard: That works for me.
LeKeith: They need to work their way up to Top Ramen
Howard: I was actually going to say that they should be downgraded to Top Ramen. Because that shit is way cheaper than Cup O Noodles.
LeKeith: I thought Ramen was the one that tasted better.
LeKeith: Oh! I am redeemed! Take that College Roomates!
Howard: Top Ramen costs about 50 cents a package. That should tell you everything you need to know.
LeKeith: I liked Cup O Noodles because it already came with it’s own Bowl or Cup. No dishes!
LeKeith: Anyway, this conversation is more exciting that Instant Noodles was.
Howard: I concur.
LeKeith: Actually, I did appreciate that they incorporated their guy on injured reserve as the photographer.
Howard: The routine just felt messy and cluttered.
LeKeith: At the same time though, they were the only crew I thought tried to tell some kind of story.
Howard: That’s true. They had some good intentions.
LeKeith: They did!
Howard: But the execution just felt very lacking.
LeKeith: Very True. And I’m glad D-Trix called them on it. He was like “I’ve done ALL of that, but better.”
Howard: Well, it’s a true statement.
LeKeith: The thing I remember the most is that they were dressed like the Joker.
LeKeith: Oh! And the guy had a Polaroid Camera.
Howard: A Bedazzled Polaroid.
LeKeith: True! Which is why Lil Mama coveted it so…
Howard: They were trying to sell the facial expressions, which I kind of appreciated. But they did not come across as charming as Poreotix.
LeKeith: No, they did not. But they tried. I think it’s the diminishing returns rule of ABDC.
Howard: Yeah, I don’t want to admit it, but it totally feels like diminishing returns this week. But, they were lucky that Totally Not Strippers were slightly worse than them.
LeKeith: I think they also got rid of Totally Not Strippers because: (A) They were Totally Not Strippers, and (B) No one wanted to move those poles every week. To have a Free Standing Pole that people are going to move on, you need a really heavy base.
Howard: That’s a lot of union mandated hazard pay.
LeKeith: Exactly. Plus you know Mario’s Dumb Ass is going to keep trying to jump on it. Not a good look, AC… So really it was a Fiscal Decision to get rid of Totally Not Strippers. That and they didn’t dance.
Howard: You can’t argue with the all-mighty dollar, dawg.
LeKeith: What did you think of Randy’s Speech at the End?
Howard: My DVR cut out when he got on stage, so I was kind of happy about that. Also, Randy needs to not wear skinny jeans.
LeKeith: HAHA! So you missed the announcement for next week then?
Howard: Yeah, what’s happening next week?
LeKeith: The returning dancers from Week 1 and Week 2 will be dancing to the Black Eyed Peas. And the Peas will be giving them the instructions. Now, I don’t know if they’re going to do the same video ala Ke$ha dead-eyes or if they’re going to do it in person
LeKeith: If it’s in person, it’ll be adp.de.ap and the other one, most likely.
Howard: The guy that played Vega in the worst Street Fighter movie ever? Anyway, you know what I miss? When they made the contestants dance for their lives during a live performance. Granted, it only happened once. And it was to Flo-Rida, but it was so ridiculous that I can’t but want it to come back.
LeKeith: I kinda want that to happen again with the WrestleMania 27 theme song singer. His album isn’t out yet. You know, that’s sad? I’ve heard that song and his name 3 times a week since the Rumble and I have no idea the name of the song or the artist.
LeKeith: I miss when they made the crews dance to Missy Elliot songs in front of Missy Elliot
Howard: Yes, there should be more direct judgment from the artists themselves. “Hmmm, y’all took my awesome song and made it kind of terrible.”
LeKeith: “Your Visual Accompaniment made me hate my own music.” “Thanks for Confusing My Senses.”
Howard: “I’m announcing my retirement now that I know my music makes people move like that.”
LeKeith: HAHA! Also, I don’t know about you but the BEP are still on probation from the SuperBowl. They know what they did!
Howard: Maybe Fergie will pee herself again during next week’s show. If that happens, all is forgiven.
LeKeith: By you, maybe. I still can’t listen to Sweet Child O’ Mine. The Guns N Roses Version.
Howard: I’m pretty Slash took his paycheck and bought a lot of
coke toys for orphans with it, so I’m OK with it.
LeKeith: I’m sure he bought a lot of
whiskey toys for Totally Not Strippers.
Howard: And we’re out!!