It’s the first week where all the crews are on the same stage! Does the Season of the Superstars live up to our expectations? Or does the presence of the Black Eyed Peas drag everyone down? Read on to find out!
Howard: Let’s Get It Started!
LeKeith: Don’t Phunk with My Heart, Howard
Howard: OK, I’m glad we got those out of the way.
Howard: Now we can get into the meat of this week’s episode!
LeKeith: I kinda wanted more terrible puns from Mario though. I love those.
Howard: Yeah, Mario sells those well.
LeKeith: I wanted a little bit of, “Will the crews be left asking the judges, “Where is the Love?” when all is said and done”
Howard: “I Gotta Feeling that these judges aren’t Gonna Meet Them Halfway…”
LeKeith: Nice! “Something Something Miserlou Song.” I have no idea what that song is actually called
Howard: Generic Club Anthem #5?
LeKeith: Sure, why not. I just add it to the list of Black Eyed Peas songs that sound like other songs I know.
Howard: Anyway, less about BEP. More about the dancing.
LeKeith: Agreed. This was the first week with all the Crews!
Howard: Let’s start with the biggest travesty of the week. The fact that the children not only survived, but were the first safe group.
LeKeith: Oh yeah, I guess. I kinda expected that though. ABDC is not immune to the appeal of dancing kids. At least for one week, the Jersey Boyz are on top. What did you think of their number?
Howard: I am trying to think of ways to express my feelings that are not overly cruel to the children.
LeKeith: Fair enough. Let me try. They executed the Flying V, as made famous by the Mighty Ducks. So, that’s a thing. Other than that, I wasn’t a fan.
LeKeith: I mean, in my opinion, I didn’t even think they executed the challenge well.
Howard: They sure did glow in the dark…
LeKeith: With headphones!
Howard: The headphones were a terrible gimmick. Like their youth and cuteness.
Howard: They were intended to distract the audience from their innate terribleness.
LeKeith: I feel bad that D-Trix is blinded by their cuteness.
Howard: Oh, I can’t take anything D-Trix says seriously anymore. He’s Nice Paula now. Lil’ Mama is Crazy Paula.
LeKeith: I just think he’s better than acting like a cheek pinching aunt. Also, he took Layla’s job as “the one who tells the crew their challenge.” Not Cool, Bro!
Howard: And JC is like the baby of Simon and Randy. He drops the Real Talk, but not in an overly dickish way.
LeKeith: I agree with your assessments. Except Lil Mama is like Crazy Paula mixed with Uplifting Paula, because she’ll randomly read something off a Hang In There Kitty Poster or something.
Howard: HA! Speaking of Lil’ Mama, I can’t believe she didn’t call out the Lil’ Guidos for totally ripping her off!
LeKeith: They wore Lip Gloss? They rode a School Bus?
Howard: No, that Smooth Criminal-esque move that they did.
LeKeith: Oh, she did that?
Howard: Yup. In the G Slide video, using that EXACT method.
LeKeith: Oh! Interesting.
Howard: One person lying on the floor holding the other person’s legs. I mean, it all goes back to Smooth Criminal. But come on.
LeKeith: Maybe her reflector Chest Plate blinded her from the plagiarism.
Howard: Her Pyramid of Power!
LeKeith: Or her Canary Yellow Eye Makeup. I think she was dressed in Tribute to Cleopatra as in the Walk Like an Egyptian Video.
Howard: I think it was a delayed tribute to Liz Taylor.
LeKeith: Oh, that works!
Howard: Listen, America – if the Lil’ Guidos aren’t kicked off next week, you’ve failed me. Again.
Howard: I feel safe in saying that they had the worst performance of the night. It was just sloppy and other than Chubby McGee’s solo, there was nothing positive I can say about it.
LeKeith: That’s fair. I think on a pure execution level, you’re right. I think Street Kingdom had a worse performance because of the concept. But I don’t want to get ahead of the other crews.
Howard: We’ll get to them eventually, but they were a close second in that race to the bottom for me. Anyway, let’s move onto Beantown Boogie.
LeKeith: That’s what you called them! I couldn’t remember. I just remembered Black JaJa. That being said, I thought they had the best performance of the night. Plus, I thought their BEP challenge was actually a challenge and not a damn lob thrown at the crew.
Howard: Yeah, it was an interesting one. When I initially saw their performance, I wasn’t super into it. But after seeing the rest of the show, I’d happily give it the #3 spot of best performances.
LeKeith: Interesting. What did you not like about it? Or did like? Either or.
Howard: I liked all the sections with the B-Boy dude in the center. The flares were well framed, I thought.
Howard: And his slow motion was pretty impressive. I guess my biggest complaint was that nothing really grabbed me. Nothing that made me jump up from my seat or hit rewind on my DVR.
LeKeith: I stopped at the air flares. When the B-Boy rotated, I was impressed. But I see what you mean. They had two main spots in their routine, the flares and the slow motion and nothing else reached that level. The little comedy bit at the end, maybe.
Howard: Yeah, that was a nice cap on everything.
LeKeith: And I wasn’t expecting comedy from them because they are one of the more ‘dance’ crews on the show. So I liked seeing it.
Howard: True. Anyway, I’m glad they made it through, but I’d like to see them step up their game a bit.
LeKeith: I’d like to see that too, because I think they’re capable of more. Onto Dirty Phil and the Boys! Dirty Cheeb and the Boys?
Howard: HA! I like it.
LeKeith: I have a few issues with this crew.
Howard: I thought their performance was very blah.
LeKeith: Yes. I agree. First, I get that dancing can be done anywhere but one place it shouldn’t be done: slippery rock surfaces! Stop doing that in your video packages! Why don’t you break dance on thin ice while you’re at it!
Howard: I like that safety is always your primary concern.
LeKeith: The season just started and one dude broke his leg. We don’t need to take unnecessary risks!
Howard: But that’s what made America great!
LeKeith: But my main issue with the performance was that: (1) it was a softball challenge. Hey, crew that makes formations, make formations. And (2) Their formations made no sense.
Howard: Yup, pretty much.
LeKeith: They were like “Look! Moving legs and arms… like a factory!”
Howard: You could see the prototype of the factory in the video package. And they critiqued it for not being dynamic enough for TV. But then they proceeded to do it anyway.
LeKeith: I wanted to give them credit for recording themselves and seeing how it plays out. But I think that’s actually a detriment to them. They’re all always facing forward in those formations and dead center. The last formation I liked was the Firetruck that Gentlemen Prefer Bowties did.
Howard: I think they just lack the vision to play something that plays out otherwise. Because the use of the camera shouldn’t limit them like that.
LeKeith: i agree. Also, I like how JC kinda dumbed down his comment when he saw they didn’t get it. Because it kinda reminded me of Dirty Cheeb when he was on SYTYCD. He’s not the best at taking direction.
Howard: Pretty much. I think his crazy level of talent is his biggest weakeness.
LeKeith: I think so too.
Howard: Because he’s usually at a level above his peers, he can’t see anything beyond what he knows.
LeKeith: Until he splits his pants.
Howard: HA! Also, I was greatly disappointed by their robot. Only because Boogie Bots did a far superior robot already.
LeKeith: And the Boogie Bots were not superior to many a crew. I thought their Robot looked more like that thing from Avatar that the Awesome Bad Guy fought in.
Howard: The Super Power Armor?
Howard: Yeah, anyway, we’ll see if they bring anything better next week. But I predict that their limited vision will ultimately be their downfall.
LeKeith: I concur. Unless the Mail Order Bribe brought some Magic with her from Old Country.
Howard: That would be amazing.
LeKeith: If there was a Magic Week…
Howard: Maybe she would run away during Magic Week.
Howard: Because it’s outlawed in the Old Country. So, next up was the Rize Against.
LeKeith: Oh right! This was the part of the night where Lil Mama was coherent.
Howard: No way! This is the part of the night where Lil’ Mama lost her damn mind. “There’s ten of you. That’s literal.” C’mon! She then proceeded to claim that she was going to get metaphorical and described EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTED TO SEE. That’s not a metaphor, Lil’ Mama!
LeKeith: Listen, I’ve already accepted that the woman who birthed Lip Gloss, the song not the item, does not know the difference between metaphorical and literal. But despite herself, she did come up with a concept that made more sense than what Rize Against came up with.
Howard: I think they were also hobbled by their props.
LeKeith: Yeah, definitely.
Howard: “Hey, you have this dance style that consists of wild arm gesticulations? Great! You have to hold this.”
LeKeith: HA! It’s true, but I betcha Tommy the Clown could have done it.
Howard: HA! Overall, the performance itself felt sluggish and messy. Their prior performance has a similar clutter issue, but the speed and energy of the performance helped to disguise that.
LeKeith: I agree. But I think the props and the challenge lent itself to spacing out on stage, which is against their Krumping style.
LeKeith: They kinda have a similar problem to Dirty Cheeb. Their style is so specific and ingrained that presenting it is almost a bigger problem than the choreography. Also, I kinda want them to win on Intimidation Alone. Like they see D-Trix pull up in the parking lot and they go “Nice Car, Man,” which – of course – is taken the wrong way.
Howard: HA! “You like it?! It’s yours!”
LeKeith: That’s how I think D-Trix reached his super saccharine comments. But I hope they can get past this hurdle because within their routine is some really interesting movements and motions that could really pop.
Howard: I agree. Though with Katy Perry on the horizon, I am not hopeful.
Howard: Alright, let’s move onto the Status Que.
LeKeith: Your thoughts?
Howard: They actually did a pretty awesome job of putting their teleport illusion together.
LeKeith: Yeah, I have to admit that I didn’t get it at first.
Howard: It was a simple, but clever way to do it.
LeKeith: Upon second viewing, I thought it was well done. I think because they went into glo-grills, I got confused.
Howard: HA! The ninja swipe section was nice and clean too.
LeKeith: It was.
Howard: But overall, the performance didn’t really grab me.
LeKeith: I thought it was a cleaner and more balanced routine this week.
Howard: For sure. But I think there was a little too much acro. It’s the Status Quo problem. They take it to 11 when 9 or 10 would be perfectly fine.
LeKeith: Yeah. But I think last week they went to 14, so coming down to 11 was a big step for them. They are a little too cheerleader-y though, like JC said. I know Stuntmen is the preferred term but I think Acro fits them better.
LeKeith: I was almost a Stuntman in college.
Howard: Also, that little cha cha dance at the end? Please never do that again.
LeKeith: That was dope!
LeKeith: No, not really. But he did it. And I thought it was guyish.
Howard: It was pretty guyish. I’ll give it that. Anyway, decent job by Status Que. I’ll give them #4 this week.
LeKeith: What did you think of Top Ramen?
Howard: Continued failure.
LeKeith: Did you like that their challenge was “Be Poreotix?”
Howard: Yeah, but they did not succeed. I like that their biggest problem was that they knew too much about video games.
LeKeith: Well, I knew they were off to a bad start when they were discussing doing a dance based on an RTS game.
Howard: Yup. Listen, dum dums, they don’t want you to recreate Call of Duty on the dance floor.
LeKeith: Exactly! “Let’s make a First Person Shooter Dance.” Nope! It didn’t work for Doom the movie and it’s not going to work here.
Howard: They want you to make some bleep bloop noises and Super Mario references.
LeKeith: I mean, pretty much. Fergie probably only knows Mario. Maybe Donkey Kong, but because of “It’s On Like Donkey Kong.”
Howard: Yup. Anyway, it was a goofy challenge and they did not deliver.
LeKeith: It was. I didn’t enjoy it, as both an ABDC fan and a gamer.
Howard: I mean, it was better than last week. But there’s just something about their floorwork that feels sloppy. They never seem as in sync as I want them to be.
LeKeith: I disagree. Last week had a bedazzled Polaroid Camera.
Howard: HA! Fair enough. Also, fellas, purple isn’t your color.
Howard: Y’all need to mix up that wardrobe.
LeKeith: That is a good point. Okay Moving on to the Bottom 2 Crews.
Howard: AKA the Best Crews of the Night! Second City Shufflers KILLED IT. A great routine by them. Considering how quickly they’re moving their feet, it’s incredible how together they are.
LeKeith: Yeah, it really was. I will admit that I didn’t like their first attempt at the challenge.
Howard: Yeah, that might have been the weakest part. But the bit where they jumped towards the edge of the stage with their legs spread? Fantastic.
LeKeith: No, that was great
Howard: Plus, the all silver/white outfits with the colored soles on their shoes were a great costuming choice. When they were done, it was easily the best performance of the night.
LeKeith: I feel bad that I didn’t like it as much as you did. The colored soles I thought could have been played up more, but maybe it’s better that it wasn’t overly done. I noticed them and was like, “Oh that could have been cooler!”
Howard: I mean, it wasn’t an ABDC All Time best performance. But up until that point in the night, there really wasn’t anything better.
LeKeith: I see your point. In this season, they’ve delivered in their 2 performances when other crews haven’t delivered even once.
Howard: Yup. But I’m not even looking at it on a full season basis. Based purely on that episode’s performances, only one other crew had a better performance. And unfortunately, that crew was the Kiwis.
LeKeith: Kiwi Kulture Club?
Howard: The fact that they were the bottom two was a travesty.
LeKeith: It’s true. I thought Top Ramen was going to be on the bottom.
Howard: As sad as I would have been to see the all Asian B-Boy crew leave so early, it would have been the right call.
LeKeith: Also, I thought someone told gave the Kiwis their Katy Perry costume instead of their BEP costume.
LeKeith: Maybe that’s why they got saved. Their outfit is recyclable. EARTH DAY!
Howard: It’d be hilarious if they dress like BEP next week. But the Kiwis were on fire!
LeKeith: They were!
Howard: The cloning was terrific, they brought the stank to it, and the whole routine was just on point. Great use of the stage too!
LeKeith: Absolutely. Best of the night. Or at least tied for best, given the SCS.
Howard: Oh, they totally outdanced the SCS. No question.
Howard: Yeah, that’s fair.
LeKeith: But you’re right. Also, it really helps that they have a completely different energy when they perform than the other crews. That might be it too. Both crews have so much energy when they perform that they stand out.
LeKeith: You know what kinda bummed me out?
Howard: What’s that?
LeKeith: that SCS actually walked out during the walk it out.
Howard: Oh, they knew they were done as soon as the Kiwis were finished. One of their dudes had his head down during the entire elimination process. He was trying so hard not to cry.
LeKeith: True. They also had my favorite Dancer: the one who mouths all the words while Dancing.
Howard: Yes! But yeah, there was no adios dance by SCS. One dude just peaced out as soon as possible.
LeKeith: I liked that no one actually walked it out during the “Walk It Out.” Granted the streak was broken earlier but still…
LeKeith: Onward and Upward, I say! Look Toward the Firework in the Sky!
Howard: Seriously though, America – get on it. Little Guidos better be gone next week.
LeKeith: Yeah… Also, you know what my Number 1 Dance of the Week Was?
LeKeith: WWE referee Justin King aka Black Ref, Busting a Move in the middle of the ring. That’s the Bar, ABDC! Reach It!
Howard: They’ve got their work cut out for them next week!