It’s Week 5 and time for the crews to break it down to the sounds Rhianna. Did they pull of their performances or do we need to dial a SOS? Read on to find out…
Howard: The Ri-Ri Challenge! Bringin’ that Island Flava!
LeKeith: But, sadly, not the Flava from De Islands, one of my favorite West Indian Restaurants. Seriously, you gotta try their Jerk Chicken. I’d eat it in public, it’s that good.
Howard: Why have you never taken me there?!
LeKeith: I just discovered it?
Howard: All is forgiven. But I think you can guess my Number One complaint about last night.
LeKeith: Mario’s Pronunciation of Rhianna?
Howard: No, although that was fairly comical. Not enough reggaeton horn.
LeKeith: Ah! True, true. Also, how about No Rhianna?
Howard: I would have been OK with that if they sounded the raggaeton horn after every time her choreographer talked.
LeKeith: HA! I like how reggaeton horn = Redemption in your playbook
Howard: More or less. I wish I could play that sound effect in real life at will.
LeKeith: I did appreciate how JC was like “Well, we’re doing Rhianna songs this week and here’s Rhianna…’s choreographer! Yayyyyy!”
LeKeith: “Beats having to look at a video, right guys?”
Howard: The Island Moves are too complicated! A video wouldn’t get the job done.
LeKeith: I mean, that was definitely true for some of the crews. I think they just wanted someone to say the names of the moves with a straight face.
Howard: HA! Well, let’s move on to the crews. How’d you like Top Ramen?
LeKeith: Well, first, I have to admit that I was surprised that they were the first saved crew. But after I got over that, the show was over. Good Night!
LeKeith: But in terms of the challenge, I noticed what you pointed out last week, that their smoothness removes the impact from their routine.
Howard: Yeah, though the smoothness worked in their favor this week, I thought. The moves they were tasked with doing were required smooth motions. Except for the booty pop. But they did a pretty capable job of that.
LeKeith: Well, I thought it did and it didn’t.
Howard: Overall, I agreed with D-Trix – it was their strongest routine yet. But I also agreed with JC – they had some really sloppy moments.
LeKeith: I didn’t notice that they did the row boat in their transitions. I was glad that JC pointed that out because that’s pretty impressive.
Howard: It was the first week where I gave them a passing grade.
LeKeith: Oh, I think it was still their strongest routine. And some of the through the leg work was nice too. What I liked about this challenge or the judges critique of it was how they were trying to explain that Dancehall Style doesn’t necessarily mean Sloppy.
Howard: True. I’m pretty sure Lil’ Mama had some sort of asinine description of Reggae, I think that all the blood left my brain and I blacked out.
LeKeith: Well, it was something like Reggae is when you feel the music in your body. You know, as opposed to all other dance where you… feel the music in your body. And to be honest, I was distracted by the lack of power necklace and driving gloves.
Howard: I agree. The lack of a geometric shape on her chest was greatly disconcerting.
LeKeith: You always cease to Amaze me, Lil Mama.
Howard: Anyway, I can’t discuss Top Ramen anymore. They were barely Above Average. I think that’s about the height I expect to hit now. I moved my hopes and dreams elsewhere a long time ago.
LeKeith: For Top Ramen or the whole season?
Howard: Hmmm, just Top Ramen for now. I will reserve judgment for the season. But if the next crew makes it into the Top Three, there’s a good chance that I might have to switch to Dancing With the Stars for the rest of the season.
LeKeith: Are you talking about the FBI?
LeKeith: Even though Jericho and Psycho Mike are both gone?!
Howard: Sad, but true. Though I’m going to start by saying that they were much better this week.
LeKeith: Yes, they were.
Howard: In terms of trying to come up with a more complicated routine.
LeKeith: They listened to D-Trix’s commetns.
Howard: But that also lead to a little more sloppiness.
LeKeith: True. Also, I still see their routines as a series of set pieces with transitions but no connectivity. Which is the fancy way of saying, “Why did they start with the singing bit for no reason?”
Howard: Because it was cuuuuuuute! Look, they’re kids doing adult things! Adorable!
LeKeith: Whatevs. So’s a baby panda.
Howard: Honestly, if they just put a baby panda on stage and played an Usher song or something for two minutes, I’d vote for it.
LeKeith: Me Too!
Howard: Even if it just sat there and pawed at some bamboo.
LeKeith: I was thinking of the Panda that gets scared of its own sneeze! I’m not even asking for the live thing. Just some Youtube Clips. But I digress. Because that’s how the FBI frustrates me. I feel like their routines are patched together parts of other routines. And I’m glad JC at least criticized them a little this week. After his BS comment of: “You tried something and it didn’t work. Next time it will though, promise.” I bet you the Cloggers were watching at home, going “Sonfabitch!”
Howard: Do you think the Skaters, the Cloggers and the Jump Rope crews have viewing parties together? To all root for the random gimmick crew of the season?
LeKeith: That would be Amazing. Can we get a Live Cam of that?
Howard: Yes! Also, I feel like the FBI straight up stole a move that another crew did last week.
LeKeith: which move? Because I felt Top Ramen did that when they did the mid-air pose.
Howard: Actually, it wasn’t from last week. But when they did the bit where they were all peeling off into the Give It A Run.
LeKeith: Oh, yeah. That wasn’t too bad.
Howard: Except they did the comedy bit where one guy kept dancing when everyone was done. Which Beantown Boogie did two weeks ago!
Howard: Granted, it was at the end of their routine. But c’mon guys – you can’t cop the exact same comedy beat as another crew in the SAME SEASON.
LeKeith: Right. You have to go at least 2 seasons back, out of respect
Howard: Or at least, hope of hiding it.
LeKeith: Contrary to Popular Belief, there is Honor Among Thieves. I kinda love the name Give It a Run though
Howard: I think they should just call it Island Running Man.
LeKeith: I just like that they way they learned was by doing the Running Man and just exaggerating it.
Howard: HA! Anyway, let’s move on to Dirty Cheeb and the Boys.
LeKeith: I liked the first thing they did. I have dubbed it The Jamiroqui. And actually, I have to say that I enjoyed this routine more so than their previous ones. Did it help that their challenge was the Spiderman? Yes. Did it help that they were dressed like Arachnaman? Yes. But most of all, they did a really good job of covering up the time suck that happens from their formations.
Howard: Yeah, things seemed to flow much more smoothly in this routine than others. I also like the fact that Lil’ Mama hit the viewing audience in the face with the fact that Olivia is 15. “Hey pervos, stop staring!”
LeKeith: I mean pretty much. Also, I like that they limited themselves to one formation. Or it felt like one.
Howard: Yeah, they opted for a lot of creative movement rather than a ton of formations this time.
LeKeith: Right, which made a lot of sense.
Howard: And even though they stuck to the center a lot, they did a better job of making the flow of the motion move from one end of the stage to the other. Like in that last sequence.
LeKeith: Well, I like how the note they took from JC was “Start the Routine Off-Center.” So that’s what they’ve been doing for the past 2 weeks. Sometimes I think Dirty Cheeb (and other crews) take criticisms like a check list and start marking them off. I dunno, it’s funny to me.
Howard: HA! I guess they figure that if they do that, their chances of surviving the elimination round become higher.
LeKeith: What would their list say? Start Off Center. Limit Brain Bangs.
Howard: Apply for Green Card.
LeKeith: HA! Remember to Skype.
Howard: I feel like they’re kind of the favorites to win the season at this point. Though I have to admit that my emotional connection to them is basically zero.
LeKeith: Yeah. I agree. I was leaning towards Beantown Boogie as the team to beat but then America voted. Dirty Cheeb would be my #2. Until America votes again and crushes my faith.
Howard: That’s a safe bet! Anyway, let’s move on to Rize Against.
LeKeith: The Dutty Wine!
Howard: I enjoyed this number only b/c it caused D-Trix to put on the Perv Crown for a minute. It was like the spirit of Shane Sparx invaded the set by force.
LeKeith: He didn’t just put the crown on, he removed it from the stone like the Mighty Excalibur. Or Moljnir, he has proven that he is Worthy.
LeKeith: Aside from that, I wasn’t a big fan of their routine. I like that they’re using the space on the stage better. And the fwap with the scarf was a nice moment.
Howard: I think their sheer numbers are their biggest weakness right now. Because they’re consistently failing to use them effectively.
Howard: They are extremely unwilling to break the giant mass into smaller groups, it seems. Like this week, why not give the chick a small entourage as well?
LeKeith: I dunno. That would have made sense. I think they’re good at highlighting 2 at a time, possibly 3 at a time but not more than that.
Howard: The need to give more of the crew a chance to stand out. So far, I know the leader dude, the girl and the little Asian dude. And then there’s a whole mess of other dudes.
LeKeith: Yeah, that’s all I know too. Before this week, I would have forgotten about the girl. Also, I’m glad D-Trix got the fanboyness out of his system. I mean, he had to hump the judges table to do so but he was able to offer some constructive criticism.
Howard: Yup. I think it helped that they didn’t make him spontaneously start weeping this week.
LeKeith: No, Lil Mama had that covered.
Howard: So amazing. “Y’all represent the street!”
LeKeith: But she switched it up on them and was like “Be Better!” Which I have to admit, I did not see coming. Once the waterworks start, I anticipated only praise.
Howard: Yeah, it was a good trick, Lil’ Mama. I predict a Bottom Two result for them next week.
LeKeith: I could see that
Howard: Anyway, let’s jump to our bottom two crews from this week. I though Beantown Boogie’s placement there was a bit of a shock.
LeKeith: Yeah, I was definitely shocked. They were so strong the previous weeks. I thought this week they were strong too.
Howard: Yeah, their performance had a lot of great elements to it. Let’s start with Bebo’s freakishly amazing b-boy tricks. The headstand jump was bananas.
LeKeith: That was insane! First off, how do you learn that you can do that?!
Howard: I have no idea. I’m going to assume a lot of pillows and a crash helmet are involved. They also did a nice bit at the start where they formed two rows and the people in front were puppets controlled by the back.
LeKeith: I didn’t notice the puppetry. Good catch. I mean, I agree with some of what JC said. At first you think they’re a good crew and kinda miss just how good they can be.
Howard: Yeah, I mean their performance last week was the weakest so far, but even so, it was one of the best of that week. I almost expected them to go to complete this season’s patterns of systematically getting rid of every crew that I think is talented. But it looks like reason actually prevailed for once.
LeKeith: Yeah, I kinda felt bad for 787 crew on this one. Because they tried to limit their tricks a little and it just didn’t work. I noticed a lot more dancing this week from them, which strangely threw me off. And, their move was the only one that didn’t have a catchy name. How could “Wine back until your on the ground” compete with “The Chaplin?” The Chaplin sounds like an after work drink, like a Manhattan
Howard: Was it me or did they not actually complete their challenge?
LeKeith: No! It was not just you. I noticed that too!
Howard: There was the section where half the crew leaned back into a bridge while the rest of the crew held them up using the back of their legs. Which I guess was kind of their challenge. But that couldn’t possibly be it, right?
LeKeith: I think it was
Howard: Well, then they did their job about as well as Lindsey Lohan’s parents.
LeKeith: Ouch… It was definitely not their best performance. But I will say they went out in the classiest way so far
Howard: Oh definitely. I love that they caught their banner before it could touch the floor, did a couple of tricks, shook the judges’ hands, and went into the audience.
LeKeith: They shook the judges’ hands! I loved that.
Howard: Though Stumpy looked like he wanted to stab everyone in Beantown Boogie. As soon as they announce that Beantown will go on, everyone else in Status Que looks like they want to cry. But Stumpy has Murder in his eyes.
LeKeith: I did not catch that. I will need to watch the replay. Also, I like how the Judges are always surprised when 2 crews they like are in the bottom. Maybe if you would stop heaping shovel-fuls of praise on some of the earlier crews, America would vote better.
Howard: HA! It’s true. Also, I agree that their attempt to work in more choreo didn’t help them this week. Mainly because their patterns were about as simplistic as the FBI’s. And hey, shocker of the year, it doesn’t look great when adults do choreo that basic.
LeKeith: HAHA! It’s so true.
Howard: TAKE A FUCKING HINT, AMERICA.
LeKeith: Well, next week isn’t going to be any better. Because the Beebs is coming. Wait, not actually coming but his songs will be played. Maybe they’ll get his third cousin, Ronnie Bieber, to be there to talk to the crews.
Howard: It would kind of be amazing if the FBI got eliminated during Beeb Week. I hope that’s the only reason they kept them around.
LeKeith: I doubt but I’ve been wrong before.
Howard: Status Que got eliminated during the Island Music Week! And the All Girl Crew got eliminated during Katy Perry Week!
LeKeith: If they sounded the Reggaeton horn after the FBI got eliminated, would you give this season a Full Pardon?
Howard: 100% yes. Actually, if the FBI actually worked the raggaeton horn into their routine, I might start becoming their biggest fan. But we both know that’ll never happen.
LeKeith: Nope! Though I like your logic about the crews and their eliminations. Who got kicked out during BEP week?
Howard: The Second City Steppers.
LeKeith: Oh, well, that kinda works. They had a Fergie.
Howard: Yup. If the FBI gets eliminated next week, we’ll know that my theory has some legs. Otherwise, they should start getting a slightly smaller giant novelty check ready for them.