Only four crews left! Do they take their performances to the next level as we head into the home stretch? Read on to find out!
Howard: ABDC’s Final Four! Only Nicki Minaj could have provided the soundtrack this week!
LeKeith: How do you figure?
Howard: Because she has four songs that MTV can afford to license? I have no real idea.
LeKeith: HA! That works.
Howard: I’m just sayin’. Some of her more popular songs weren’t present.
LeKeith: This is true. I did appreciate that in some cases they used just the Nicki Minaj part of the song though.
Howard: Yeah, that was nice, considering that at least half the songs were collabos.
LeKeith: But MTV did make up for it though
Howard: Yup! Big props to Nicki for actually showing up.
LeKeith: It’s an ABDC first for the Season of the Superstar
Howard: Also, her ass. Which is literally from another planet.
LeKeith: It was written in the stars.
Howard: It’s true.
LeKeith: Tinie Tempah, you stay relevant!
Howard: Somehow, even though Lil’ Mama was wearing some kind of absurd birdcage dress, Nicki still had a bigger ass. It kind of blew my mind.
LeKeith: Well, I like that Lil Mama dressed up for Nicki’s arrival. And by “up,” I mean Crazy. But yes, she was outshined by Nicki’s backside.
Howard: Someone asked me if Nicki was like Black Lady Gaga.
LeKeith: I mean, kinda? I have a different theory though
Howard: What’s that?
LeKeith: Nicki read the pilot script for the United States of Tara and decided “Hey, Me Too!”
LeKeith: Hence, the multiple personalities challenge for tonight
Howard: I like it. What’d you think of the opening number?
LeKeith: I thought it was a little chaotic but ultimately it was nice to see everyone dance the same style. Because each of the 4 crew has been fairly unique in their style.
Howard: Yeah, though they did a decent job of letting each crew shine a little bit. There was a nice section at the beginning where the Dirty Cheeb and Rize Against were at the front of the stage.
LeKeith: I thought Cheeb looked really good in this number, actually.
Howard: The Dirty Cheeb were down low and acting like drums, while Rize Against was the drummers. That let Rize Against bring out their controlled frenzy, while the Dirty Cheeb got to do their crazy isos.
LeKeith: True. I don’t know how I felt about the 2 guys trying to grab the 15 year old though. But one of them was like 7 so I guess the numbers even out.
Howard: Yeah, I’m pretty sure that Oliva is going to give the FBI all kinds of complexes as they grow older. Either her or Nicki Minaj.
LeKeith: I’m pretty sure Nicki Minaj did! There was a little more bass in some voices this week.
LeKeith: Okay. Let’s move onto the performances. What did you think of Dirty Cheeb?
Howard: Overall, I liked it, but some of the parts didn’t work for me at all.
LeKeith: What parts? I got the same feeling from this routine.
Howard: Like the Whack-A-Mole section.
LeKeith: Oh! I liked that section. But I think I just like Whack-a-Mole.
Howard: I didn’t like the Brain Bang that set it up and I didn’t like the setpiece either. You could see the thinking on their faces that JC mentioned.
LeKeith: It’s true. But I liked that Brain Bang more than the others because it at least led to something – the Whack-a-Mole tying into the games theme.
Howard: The double limbo to jumprope was nice, only because the limbo was a nice swerve. And Cheeb waits until the last possible second to bend backwards, which was pretty cool.
LeKeith: That’s true! I wasn’t sure exactly what was going to happen.
Howard: But I wasn’t super hot on the first half of the routine. It was only after the Whack-A-Mole section where they really grabbed me. With the dance choreo that lead into that awesome bit where they were like human tire jacks.
LeKeith: Yes! When JaJa did that solo?
Howard: Yeah, except her facial expressions kind of freak me out.
LeKeith: I was completely freaked out!
Howard: She’s a pretty girl, but she kind of looks like a real life Cabbage Patch doll. Which is unnerving.
LeKeith: Oh man. Why did you put that in my head?!?
Howard: NOW YOU CAN’T UNTHINK IT.
LeKeith: NO I CAN’T. I thought what made it so freaky was that her lip syncing matched up perfectly. That always freaks me out a little.
Howard: HA! Yeah, she’s a good performer, I have to admit. She just freaks me out.
LeKeith: Oh, absolutely. Can I ask you one question?
LeKeith: What games did Moon play as a child? Because between the Mother Chicken and then slitting the other dude from behind, I don’t want to play those games…
Howard: I have no idea. But I will tell you that there’s a childhood game in a lot of Asian cultures that involves sneaking up behind people and jamming your fingers into their backsides. So we should probably be pretty happy that he didn’t bring that up.
Howard: Yeah, there was even an arcade game in Japan called Boonga Boonga based on this concept. But let’s move on past the craziness of Asians.
Howard: And turn our focus to the next saved crew.
LeKeith: I want to call this the Season of the Fieldtrip.
Howard: The Season of the Jumping Shark. The Season of Mario on Waterskis.
LeKeith: Actually, next season, I would like to see a Jumping Shark. How much must it suck to be standing on stage with the FBI, waiting for the results? With the other crews, you have a shot at being saved. With them, you’re going into elimination.
LeKeith: No Questions Asked.
Howard: Beantown Boogie knew what was up.
Howard: The FBI gets the biggest pops in the studio for sure though. Also, Mario totally stole our name of Jersey Shore Juniors.
LeKeith: I know!
Howard: I want that royalty check, Mario!
LeKeith: Or a Date with Kelly Kapowski.
Howard: Also acceptable. Am I being harsh if I judge them for not knowing that marionettes are?
LeKeith: No! Because I was about to say the same thing. They should have seen Pinocchio by now. No excuses.
Howard: The sequence where they go to play with puppets was only made acceptable by the fact that we got to hear Lil’ Paulie D talk. Though I was disappointed he didn’t say, “Yeah, buddy!”
LeKeith: It’s okay. There’s always next week. Also, if they did know what a marionette was, then this wouldn’t have been the Season of the Fieldtrip. You know what bummed me out about their routine though?
Howard: That their puppet dancing wasn’t nearly as good as the opening of the “Bye, Bye, Bye” video?
LeKeith: Well, that too. But I would have drawn mouth lines and freckle circles on those cherub cheeks to make them look like marionettes. It’s the details, kids.
Howard: I’m also upset that they were toprocking.
LeKeith: Well, they tried to do several b-boyish moves.
Howard: Poorly! And all they got was praise for it! “Hey, nice try! Next time, try to do it right!” What the hell, D-Trix?
LeKeith: Yeah, I really don’t like that they get praised for trying things so much. Like when JC praised them for the handstand.
Howard: It’s like he got scolded by Randy Jackson for giving them Real Talk that one week.
LeKeith: HA! It’s true.
Howard: It’s cool that they’re trying new things and learning techniques from the older crews. I like to see that happening behind the scenes. But at this point, they can just come out and do anything and the crowd will just love them for it. Because they’re kids and it’s adorable.
LeKeith: Sorry, I was thinking of what Randy would have said to D-Trix. “Listen, Dawg, these little money makers have fragile egos. It’s all praise from here on out or things are going to get pitchy, ya dig?”
Howard: HAHA! That’s amazing. Speaking of amazing, let’s focus on Lil’ Mama for a minute.
Howard: First of all, I have no idea what “V-Y-P to the End” means.
LeKeith: No clue.
Howard: Second, “transvilloquist.” She is a delight.
LeKeith: I checked this week. The closed captioning translated that to “Tranquil Quis.”
Howard: HA! Hats = Crazy. Corsets = Mangling of the English Language.
LeKeith: Was this the week she was dressed like Storm from the X-Men movies?
LeKeith: Okay, just checking. She was like Storm but with 80′s shoulderpads.
Howard: At this point, there’s nothing we can really add to our complaints about the FBI. Their dancing remains extremely simple. And, if anything, they were a little more out of sync this week.
LeKeith: While simple, they are better at using the whole stage than the other crews.
Howard: I do appreciate that they keep highlighting Chubs McGee.
LeKeith: Right! Which bothered me during the promo package. The first time I saw him holding the baby, I thought it was his. MTV is the home of Teen Mom after all. But then I turned the sound on and learned it was his sister.
LeKeith: I knew that something was wrong with my thinking. But my favorite human marionette will always be John Krasinksi:
Howard: HA! Well, let’s move on to the bottom two crews. Thoughts on Beantown Boogie?
LeKeith: They got screwed challenge-wise. They got the Dreamgirls challenge. But they made it work, kinda.
Howard: Yes. And it gave us the amazing horror of D-Trix’s O-Face.
LeKeith: Oh! That was awesome. Not the O-Face part. Just D-Trix embracing the Perv seat. He didn’t even need the table this week!
Howard: It’s true! He pretty much made love to that microphone. I regret that they didn’t have a split screen showing Lil’ Mama and JC’s faces.
LeKeith: They showed it at the beginning but they knew where the money was. I wonder if JC would have nodded along going “That sounds about right.”
LeKeith: But has for the routine, I have one thing to say: Inverted Worm!
Howard: That was pretty epic.
LeKeith: I want to say more but I have to say that nothing really stood out in this routine for me until that finish. Oh! Bebo grabbing his hair being scared.
Howard: Yeah, that was a nice moment. There were two things that stuck out to me. First, when they transitioned off the belly dancing to their choreo, there was a point where Bebo just fell on his ass.
LeKeith: Oh yeah, well, that.
Howard: Second, I liked the bit that came right after that. Where almost the whole crew was on the right side of the stage doing choreo together.
LeKeith: And JaJa was on the left?
Howard: Yeah. And then they synced up to JaJa. I thought that was well staged.
LeKeith: That was good. He can be really explosive. I think I was just hoping for a different routine. I like “My Chick Bad,” but I couldn’t see the Challenge fitting the song.
Howard: They have all these great small moments, but they just don’t hit that point where I say, “I want you to be the ABDC winner.”
LeKeith: Right. This week was very indicative of that. But it didn’t matter!
Howard: Nope. Because Rize Against couldn’t bring an awesome routine for a third week in a row.
LeKeith: It’s hard to do. Not everyone’s Quest. Actually, no one’s Quest.
Howard: Nope.com. And you would have thought that the military theme would have been a perfect fit for them.
Howard: But they clearly overthought it.
LeKeith: Absolutely. Also, I disagree with JC and Lil Mama. I liked the beginning. It just didn’t go the way I thought it would.
Howard: The beginning wasn’t bad, narratively. But if you’ve only got a minute to make an impact, it was the wrong way to start. It eats up at least a quarter of their time.
LeKeith: No, I understood their comments entirely. I think I wanted to see their routine go the way of Stripes, because I love that movie. One Screwball leads everyone astray but ultimately to success. Which is a lot to do in a minute, I know. Just saying. Bill Murray could do it.
Howard: They would have been smarter to tackle it like the Dirty Cheeb. Their traditional dancing with bit of the challenge interspersed. Instead of making the whole routine about the challenge.
LeKeith: Yeah, I agree.
Howard: The second half, when they were less concerned with monkey bars and push ups, was significantly better.
LeKeith: Their Monkey Roll reminded me immediately of the steppers and the ridiculous air those guys got when they did it.
Howard: Monkey Roll?
LeKeith: Where the one guy rolled under another guy, who was doing a flyaway push up.
Howard: Oh yeah, at the opening.
LeKeith: Yeah. Right before the monkey bars too.
Howard: D-Trix’s commentary was totally the “best of luck on your future endeavors” speech.
LeKeith: It was! I noticed that too. It was the “Please Don’t Tip Over My Car” speech. But that being said, they were definitely on the show longer than I thought they would have been. There was a lot of growth from Rize Against.
Howard: Yeah, they really developed over the course of the season. Their performance last week was definitely a highlight. I’d stack that against some of the best routines from prior seasons.
LeKeith: Also, Mario, watch it with the Rize puns! Now I want a date with Lisa Turtle too.
Howard: No Jessie Spano? She’s so excited! She’s so scared!
LeKeith: I’ve always had a thing for Lisa. Or her alter ego in How High.
Howard: HA! I want a Meth and Red week.
LeKeith: That would be AMAZING.
Howard: “Your challenge is to kill is gravity bong. Then try to dance!”
LeKeith: HAHA! Your Challenge is “Find ODB. You must find ODB before you are able to dance.”
Howard: Oh, sadface. RIP, Big Baby Jesus.
LeKeith: If that’s what you want to believe. I think he’s on an island chillin’ with Elvis, Biggie and Pac.
Howard: Whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy.
LeKeith: Are you excited for the Kanye West Challenge?
Howard: I am, but mostly because it means that we’ve gone the whole season without Magic Week!
LeKeith: I wouldn’t look past Magic Week yet. You know, Autotune is a Type of Magic.
Howard: If Kanye Week is also Magic Week, I hope Taylor Swift shows up and sets the stage on fire.
LeKeith: What is it with you and fire this season?!?
Howard: Like a phoenix, ABDC must rise from the ashes!
LeKeith: Ah. I just dare MTV to to find 3 Clean parts of Kanye Songs for them to dance to. Other than Through the Wire. His mouth was wired shut; doesn’t count.
Howard: As long as it’s not songs from 808s and Heartbreak, I’ll be OK with it.
LeKeith: aka, the Magic Album.
Howard: I hate you. Before we close shop, you know what my favorite part of the episode was?
LeKeith: When Mario Lopez made a Menage-a-Trois Joke? Because I hope that’s not the answer.
Howard: When the dude from Street Kingdom almost killed someone trying to grab his banner before it hit the ground.
LeKeith: Oh yeah!
Howard: I like that it only took 6 seasons for that to become a tradition.
LeKeith: He pulled the NBA move. I like that the guy tried to catch him, too!
LeKeith: Also, I have to say, I do like the tradition of shaking the judges hands. And I liked that everyone came out krumping for the dance away.
Howard: Yeah, that was nice.
LeKeith: I applaud D-Trix for not jumping up there too. You know he can’t control himself around the Krump. You noticed how he said “Buck” this week?
Howard: Yup. He is a huge fanboy, but it’s kind of understandable. I’m just sad that Tommy the Clown never showed up.
LeKeith: Fingers crossed for the finale…
Howard: That would redeem the whole season.